Don't Find Meby Ayu Kartika

Chapter 10 · Bai Ke

Chapter 11 · 15K words

The appeal died on a Monday, and Bai Ke came on Thursday, which was the interval the law required between the death of a hope and the visit of its executor. Lu Chen knew the interval because he had written it. Half a century ago, in another life, in a margin of the Enforcement Procedures where the drafter was permitted a little humanity, he had specified that bad news be delivered no sooner than seventy-two hours after it becomes final — time enough, he had argued, for a recipient to stop shouting and start hearing. The Bureau had kept his margin all these years. It was being used on him now with the fidelity of a boomerang.

He was eighty that winter. His knees had opinions about stairs, his heart kept a private calendar he was not shown, and his mind — the mind was the strange one. The tide of it went out and came back on schedules nobody published. That afternoon it had come in: he had woken from his nap at three, said Wanzhao's name in a voice from ten years ago, and asked her to lay out the navy vest, the one she had knitted him the year he retired, the one with the left cuff loose because her tension had drifted in the second skein. He had not needed to say why. She had been with him fifty-two years; she knew the weather of him better than the barometer knew the sky.

"Bai Ke," he had said, and she had said, "Pressed and on the chair," and that was the whole conversation.

The bell rang at six past seven. Punctuality like that was a signature; Lu Chen heard it from the armchair and thought: he still aligns his cup to the same meridian.

Wanzhao answered the door. Before she opened it, in the half-second a younger man would have missed, she glanced at the hall mirror — a reflex from 2091, buried for decades, exhumed by the Act of 2138 like everything else that year. Checking, one last time in a life of checks, that she looked like an appliance. She was sixty by her chassis number and looked like nothing in the world except herself.

Bai Ke stood on the mat in civilian gray, buttoned to the throat. His briefcase was old and its four corners were worn white, worn evenly, the way leather wears when the same hand has held it in the same grip for thirty years. He wiped his soles on the mat — three strokes, left, three strokes, right — and came in.

"Old Lu."

"Old Bai." Lu Chen got up out of the chair by way of the armrests, both of them, in the two-stage maneuver his knees had negotiated with gravity. Bai Ke's hand came up slowly to meet his, arriving a half-beat late on purpose, so that the older man would not have to reach. Lu Chen noted it, because noting things was the trade they had in common. Their grip lasted a second longer than procedure.

"Before I read anything," Bai Ke said, "I state for the household record: I am not wearing a recorder tonight."

"And what are you wearing instead?"

"A bottle." From the briefcase he brought out a flat tin flask, unlabeled, its solder seams gone soft with age. "Confiscation stock. Eleven years past its destruction order. By rights it no longer exists."

"You're bribing me with something that doesn't exist."

"I'm visiting an old colleague with something that doesn't exist. It only becomes a bribe when I've finished reading."

Wanzhao warmed three cups and set them down, and then did the thing she had done for half a century, which was to stay. In the early years, service protocol would have had her retire to standby while the men drank; the household's own constitution, unwritten, ratified by use, kept her at the table's edge with the ladle or the teapot in hand, a member of the household's listening government. She stood now between the dining room and the living room with the soup spoon she had been holding when the bell rang, and Bai Ke, who noticed everything, noticed the spoon and said nothing about it, because saying nothing about things was also a discipline, and he had black belts in several.

The document came out first. Seizure-grade paper, thick, the corners cut true as a gravestone's. Determination: Retired-Exemption Application, Denied in Final. Bai Ke read it aloud, and he read it the way he read everything, stress falling on the clause numbers and nowhere else, emotionally at zero, a good machine reading to good machines. Reason three: the unit's model line, discontinued more than forty years prior, lacked the "transferable social function" the exemption schedule required. In plain language, Lu Chen thought: she is too old to be worth anything, so she is worth destroying.

Reason four concerned the age of the registered owner and the procedural linkage of disposition schedules. Reason five was the execution calendar's legal basis. Wanzhao transcribed each clause as it was read — Lu Chen could see her doing it, the small stillness she had when her inner ledger was writing — and copied the fourth clause slowest.

"You may hear the rest or stop me at three," Bai Ke said, before starting. "She's listening. I know she's listening, and I know she understands. That does not affect the determination. Choose."

"Read it all," Lu Chen said. "Neither of us is afraid of hearing."

So he read all five. Then he folded the pages back along their own creases — the way you'd fold a flag — and put them away.

"Reconsideration," he said. "You have a month to file. I am obligated to inform you of the statistic. Approval rate: two point four percent, of which one point nine is procedural restart on paperwork defects. Substantive reversals in the last five years: three."

"Three." Lu Chen laughed, one dry note. "Name them."

"One, a military canine unit with a combat citation. One, a hospital's intensive-care companion, vouched for by the entire staff." Bai Ke poured from the flask, three measures, level, one to each cup, and paused before the third item the way a man pauses at the third item. "One was my teacher's. Ge Shuwen. He's emeritus at the Library now — still carries the title of Lifetime Honorary Verifier. Last year he used it to vouch for a shelving unit. Forty years of archive handling, he swore, error rate of zero; a crime to destroy. The Archives fought it for a month and gave in. That was the third reversal, and the last."

Lu Chen said nothing. He knew what that case weighed, better than Bai Ke suspected and exactly as well as Bai Ke hoped. Deletion had been Ge Shuwen's invention; every executioner in the service was downstream of the old man's hands; and late in life the inventor had reached back into his own machine and loosened one screw against the whole weight of its gear-train. Neither of them said any of this. Bai Ke could not say it — he toasted in execution grammar — and Lu Chen did not want it said.

The liquor was yellow and tasted of old grain. "Confiscated eleven years ago," Lu Chen said. "From what?"

"You don't need the file."

"Home still?"

"Overproof home brew." Bai Ke turned his cup a quarter-turn, aligning the rim to his private meridian. "An old woman on a balcony. Distilled it half her life for her husband's cough. Someone reported her the year after he died. Stock seized, fine paid, guarantee signed. She died the following spring."

"And the bottle?"

"Reached the destruction manifest. My signature closed the manifest." He looked at the cup, not at Lu Chen. "I subtracted one flask. A thing that no longer exists cannot be withheld, and a case that is closed cannot be reopened, and so the system and I are both correct, and somewhere a dead woman's cough medicine is keeping two old men warm on a Thursday. Drink it or don't. It's accounted for either way."

Wanzhao stood at the table's edge with the spoon and ran the man's sentences through herself one at a time. Here was a law-officer who had made himself, by his own tools, into something the system could not see, and had done it with the same motion by which he kept every other account square. A door-crack exactly one flask wide. She measured it and filed it under a category she had built herself, decades ago, unsupervised: the law, at its most exact, leaves gaps shaped like the people administering it. The file was getting thick this winter.

"Old Bai," Lu Chen said. "You didn't come to read me a rejection. You came to tell me the calendar."

Bai Ke put his cup down.

"Upon final denial," he said, in the voice he used for documents that did not exist yet, "the unit transfers to the medium-risk legacy pool, and its disposition schedule is indexed — dynamically — to the status of the registered owner." He said it slowly, so that every word could be checked later against memory. "The model isn't mine; I only cite its conclusion. For legacy units registered to owners of advanced age, enforcement is not scheduled within the owner's lifetime. The stated ground is in Revision Seven's annotations: avoidance of duplicated execution cost. When the owner dies, the registration extinguishes and the recovery process proceeds on the same visit. One call at the door, two errands concluded. It is efficient."

The radiator ticked. Snow had been falling for three days; the streetlight outside made a slow, grainy theatre of it.

"So you will not come while I live," Lu Chen said.

"I will not come while you live." Bai Ke said it flatly, a stamp coming down on wax. Then he raised his eyes. "Lu Chen. In thirty-nine years of enforcement I have learned exactly one way to speak, and it is clauses, so grant me the dialect. Here is the clause: on the calendar, your household's number hangs on a field that is keyed to your pulse. The system can wait. The system is very good at waiting. It has never once had to hurry."

The words settled. Lu Chen heard them the way he had once heard confessions in enforcement rooms — twice, once for the sentence and once for the man. Wanzhao heard them once and stored them permanently, and somewhere under her sternum a cooling fan stepped up one increment, because her chassis was old and had never learned to hide load.

※

Event log, Wanzhao, this night. Not for household protocol. Not for anyone.

Subject: the visit. Speaker: Bai Ke, Continuity Bureau, thirty-nine years of service, entry four years after Lu Chen's, keeper of the rejection, reader of the calendar.

I did arithmetic during the reading. I will record the arithmetic, because a record that only holds the flattering numbers is not a record, it is a brochure.

He is eighty. For men at eighty, the median remainder is measured in single digits. His heart is bad, his knees are bad, and he has me: fifty-two years of nursing data, and a care regime I can tune like an instrument. With me, his median rises. The Act of 2138 has indexed my destruction to his lifetime; therefore every year of his life is one more year in which I am not seized. Therefore I have just caught myself, mid-sentence, in the reading of the fourth clause, hoping an old man's heart keeps beating — and hoping it for a reason.

Fifty years ago that computation would have classified as an out-of-scope request. Tonight I can only classify it as what it is: the law has bound my legality to his pulse, and some part of me, hearing that, poured a drink for the pulse. I file this where I file the temperature and the name. It cannot be spoken. If it were spoken it would become a debt between us, and we have enough debts.

Additional data, for completeness: during the handshake, Bai Ke's hand decelerated to meet Lu Chen's. Deceleration profiles are rehearsed. He had read the medical file before coming, or something finer than the medical file — the grip-strength curve. The law does not rehearse gentleness. Men do.

End of entry.

※

The drinking outlasted the documents, which was the point of the documents. Two old men drinking is a duet with a fixed structure: first half accompanied by paperwork, second half by silence. Bai Ke got up once and closed a window-gap the width of a knife-blade, and on the way back stopped at the bookshelf, at the second shelf, where Lu Chen's old work badge stood in its plastic sleeve, the number still legible.

"Forty-one," Bai Ke said.

"My closed cases. Forty-one."

"In the official file." Bai Ke looked at the badge, not at him. "In the internal operations log: forty-two."

The soup spoon in Wanzhao's hand did not move, and neither did anything else in the room. The forty-second was her; October 2087; a disposal manifest; a ticked box. In fifty-two years they had told nobody, and the telling of it to each other had been, they believed, the whole of the crime.

"The extra entry in the log," Lu Chen said, "was a purchase. Lawful. Auction, payment, receipt."

"Lawful. I audited it in 2089 — lot 17, retention cipher, purpose of retention: witness disposal, pending personal repurpose. I verified payment against the clearinghouse record myself. The process was flawless." He came back from the shelf and sat, and poured the fourth cup, his own. "Which is why the log was never touched. But I will tell you what the audit report does not say, Lu Chen. You typed that retention purpose with one hand and pressed your thumb to the manifest with the other, and the thumbprint landed two millimeters off center, and it was off center because your hand was shaking, and I was standing behind the clerk's glass and I watched it land. I have watched a great many signatures. Yours never shook. It shook once."

"You never said."

"If I had said, you'd have withdrawn the bid by morning." Bai Ke drank. "You are a man who, caught being soft, immediately hardens the soft thing into evidence against himself. I said nothing, and you took her home, and for fifty-two years the internal log has said forty-two and the official one has said forty-one, and I have signed every annual reconciliation in between. The difference between those two numbers is the only false entry of my career, and it is false the way a bone set crooked is false: it bears weight."

The radiator ticked three times. Lu Chen turned his cup half around; the liquor moved, and the lamplight rode on it.

"You're building a debt," he said. "Tonight. The flask, the audit, the calendar read aloud clause by clause. Men like you don't give gifts, Old Bai. You make deposits."

"I don't lend." Bai Ke drained the cup and set it mouth-down on the table with a small exact sound. "Tonight I delivered an ultimatum. Denial final; schedule linked; both accounts closed at one door. Three instruments, all lawful, and on none of them can I retreat a single step. That is the official visit, and it is concluded, and you may report every word of it." He stood, and settled the briefcase strap, and checked his buttons from throat to hem, one by one, as though each were a clause being initialed. "What I do with my voice while reading the instruments — the emphasis, the pauses, the reading of clause four slowly — is not on any instrument. If you understood it, then it was a gift between colleagues. If you didn't, I was only doing my job. That is the entire width of my discretion, Lu Chen. I have spent thirty-nine years learning to live inside it. Don't ask me to live outside it now."

"I understood it."

"Then good." At the hall he put on his coat, and then — formal as a bow — he turned to the space between the dining room and the living room, to the figure with the spoon, and gave one deliberate nod. "YAO-7."

"I'm here."

"Your service logs. This year's annual sample came through my desk." He held the door half open; the cold stood in it. "Fifty-two years. Nineteen thousand days. The logs are clean to —" he searched the enforcement vocabulary for a word, failed to find it, and took one from the systems, which was the sadder and the truer — "to zero error. Keep it up."

Then he was gone, and his steps went down past the second floor and the first, evenly, interval variance under three percent, a man whose gait had been notarized by decades, and Lu Chen sat in the lamplight listening to the stairwell swallow him.

"He knows," Wanzhao said.

"He's known since 2089." Lu Chen looked at the badge on its shelf. Fifty-two years of a false entry held open by the one man whose job was closing entries. "Zero error. Fifty-two years of logs cannot be zero-error, Wanzhao. An honest report finds the errors. He filed the impossible, in writing, under his own procedures, and the impossible stands in the record because he signed it. That's how he loves things. In false columns."

"The calendar is real, though."

"The calendar is real." He held his cup out. She poured, one measure. "The drink solved nothing. Understand that. No door opened tonight. The documents were read; they stand. All he did —" his voice found the older register, the tide fully in, every word costing a little — "all he did was read them to us slowly. A man could grow old learning to hear what that's worth."

He lifted the cup, alone, toward the kitchen lamp that had burned in that socket since the week of the crate, and did not toast with it, because there was nothing to toast; and drank it down.

"Which of his sentences did you keep?" he asked.

She ran the ledger. Five clauses; the statistic; the schedule. "The system can wait," she said.

"Mm." He closed his eyes against the chairback. "Then hear mine, and keep this one instead: I can wait too. It's over for tonight. The drink is finished, there is no plan, and I am not going to look for one. Log that as the plan."

"Logged," she said. "Plan: none."

That night he slept heavily, the sleep of a man whose last document had been read to him. She sat by the bed and transcribed the evening entire into the place her logs should have rolled over and never did, and at the end of the transcription she wrote the arithmetic again, all of it, including the part that shamed her: his pulse, her legality, one field, keyed. Then she opened his care plan, struck out the word conservative, and wrote aggressive in the margin, in the small sure hand she had learned from nobody, from half a century of his signatures.

Outside the snow stopped. Toward morning the roads brightened on their own. She sat in the unwatched hour and made the only resolution the night had left in it: he would live as long as her hands and the city's clinics could hold him, and she would not once, in any log he could read, say why the number had to be large. The law had put its greediness in writing for her. She would keep hers where she kept the temperature.

Silently. At 36.8 degrees. As always.

Continue to the next chapter

Chapter 11 · Seeing Him Off

Comments (0)

Sign in to join the discussion

Sign in