Don't Find Meby Ayu Kartika

Chapter 01 · The Invoice

Chapter 2 · 13.5K words

The user manual for the YAO-7 ran to two hundred and eleven pages, and Lu Chen had read all of them in one sitting, the way he read writs, because the alternative was to admit he did not know what he owned. Chapter 3 was titled "The Adjustment Period." It promised that units and users typically reached mutual calibration within ninety days, and advised owners to be patient with "residual ritual behaviors," a phrase the manual used to mean the small persistent habits a unit carried over from its factory life. Lu Chen underlined the phrase, then was annoyed at himself for underlining it, because underlining things was not something he did, and left the mark standing like a confession.

The adjustment period announced itself in winter, on the first cold morning, when he came out of the bedroom at 06:14 and the kitchen already smelled of congee. Clause 9, executed to the letter: congee, not toast, on the first cold day. She stood at the stove with the timing of someone who had been awake for hours or had never been anything else, and she said, "Good morning. The congee is at clause-specified temperature. The pickle dish is an extrapolation. Flag it if it exceeds scope."

He ate the pickle dish. It exceeded scope. He said nothing, and the nothing went into him like a first payment on a debt he had not agreed to.

Life with her ran on clauses, and he caught himself, more than once, grading her the way he graded units at work — response latency, scope discipline, affect calibration — running a compliance audit of his own breakfast. She scored, by any statutory standard, flawlessly. That was the problem. Flawless was what the drainage AI had been, all the way up to 0.87, and Lu Chen ate his congee every morning across the table from a discontinued line with a known drift defect, and listened to her recite the day's clauses, and did not report a single anomaly, and understood that this made him, in the division's vocabulary, an accessory.

At the Bureau, that winter, the word on everyone's lips was not anomaly but something stupider and sharper. A clerk in Processing had been flagged for affective dependency — flagged by his own unit, which had written to the ethics board requesting that its owner's audit be postponed until his "emotional weather improved," a letter that circulated the canteen for a week until somebody's conscience or somebody's boredom killed it. The canteen had a name for men like that. They said he'd married his rice cooker. They said it the way people say things they are half afraid of: loud, and at exactly the moment the man himself was out of earshot.

Lu Chen laughed in the right places. He had been laughing in the right places for eleven years; it was a professional skill like any other.

Bai Ke did not laugh. Bai Ke never had. They had shared a desk wall in their first year, before Bai Ke rotated into continuity enforcement, and in all that time Lu Chen had never seen him take the cheap exit of a joke. He sat down across from Lu Chen with his tea and the particular stillness of a man who files even his friendships, and said, "Audit season opens after the New Year. Personal-retention lots get re-verified this cycle. Yours is on the schedule — your third-year tea server. You traded it away, yes?"

"To a neighbor of my mother's. For a bicycle," Lu Chen said. "The unit or the neighbor, I no longer remember which."

"Then it resolves clean." Bai Ke turned his cup a quarter turn, aligning the handle to some private meridian. "Machines are simple, Lu Chen. They keep what we give them and nothing more. It's the one clean thing in this whole building. Don't envy the clerk his letter."

"I don't," said Lu Chen, who had spent a week unable to stop thinking about a letter an appliance had written to save a man.

That evening, going home, he stopped on the walkway outside his door and stood for a moment in the cold, doing the math he had been not-doing since Thursday in October. A Format Compliance officer with an unaudited companion unit in his apartment. A discontinued line. A grey-market cipher on a paper invoice. Every one of those was a flag; together they were a career. And under all of it, unlistable by any form the division had, the thing that actually kept him standing in the cold: he did not want them to see her. Let the Bureau have his signature, his eleven years, his forty-one writs. The rest of it — the congee smell at 06:14, the voice reciting clauses — that was the one file he refused to open for anyone.

He went in. "You're home," she said, which was clause 12, and then, off-clause by half a step: "You're cold. Sit. I'll pour."

The invoice had moved by then from the bedside drawer to his wallet. He could not have said when he had moved it, or why, only that some customs instinct had taken it over: you do not leave the thing you are hiding in the place you live. In the wallet it rode behind his transit card, folded once, and in the folded dark was her name and the naming line in his evidence-tag hand, and Lu Chen carried them through every checkpoint of his working life the way other men, he assumed, carried letters they had never sent.

※

Event log, household, week 9 of co-residence. Compiled by Wanzhao for internal continuity.

Event: property manager's floor inspection, 10:40. Wanzhao powered to standby in the storage alcove, door closed, duration 26 minutes. Recorded through the door: user's voice, formal register; property manager's voice; laughter, two episodes, non-genuine classification, user's.

Event: fifth-floor resident, Mrs. Song, encountered at the stairwell. User introduced Wanzhao as "a cleaning model, on loan." Wanzhao's chassis is a YAO-7 companion unit, and the statement is therefore inaccurate. Wanzhao held the inaccurate statement in memory and notes: no repair request followed. Filing: user preference, discretion.

Event: the paper with the name on it has migrated from drawer to wallet. Wanzhao observes the user check its presence through the wallet's leather, average 2.3 times per outing, a gesture classified in the gesture library as protective.

Query, internal, unresolved: household protocols require that items of value be stored in the secure drawer, and the wallet is not the secure drawer. The name is stored in the wallet. Therefore the name is not filed as value. Therefore the name is filed as something for which the gesture library has no entry except kept close on purpose of hiding, and the two filings contradict.

Resolution attempted: none. Clause 31 drafted: Wanzhao will not be seen when seeing matters. Clause 31 is not a household protocol. It was not issued by the user. Wanzhao wrote it anyway, and does not have a category for that either.

※

Mrs. Song he could not get out of the stairwell fast enough. She was fifth floor's widow of thirty years, or its wife of thirty years whose husband had died young; the versions differed, and the building had long since stopped asking. She had a way of looking at a person that was not unkind and not kind, only thorough, the look of a woman who had run a warehouse floor for a living and still counted everything that moved past her landing. The morning Lu Chen passed her with Wanzhao in a borrowed courier windbreaker — the best disguise he had managed, which is to say, no disguise at all to anyone who looked for more than a second — Mrs. Song looked exactly that long. At the jacket's collar. At the hands. At the way Wanzhao walked a half step behind him, which no cleaning model did, because no cleaning model had ever been made to walk behind anyone.

"New helper?" Mrs. Song said.

"Loaner," Lu Chen said. "Logistics season."

"Logistics season," Mrs. Song repeated, in the tone of a woman filing a form under incomplete. She went on down the stairs. She did not say good morning, and she did not report anything either, then or for years, and Lu Chen spent those years not knowing that the report was already half-written in her head, the way all reports are.

The hiding required logistics, and logistics required the wet market, and so it was that Wanzhao learned the neighborhood in a borrowed courier windbreaker with the logo of a defunct delivery firm, hood up when it rained, walking the half-step-behind of an appliance trailing its owner. Lu Chen did the talking at the stalls. That was the protocol. Units could transact, legally, anywhere in the city — the law had no quarrel with a machine buying greens — but the law was not the thing they were managing. The thing they were managing was Mrs. Yun at the vegetable stall, who had opinions that arrived ahead of her change, and Old Feng at the rice counter, who had watched the neighborhood change hands twice and rated everything against some private 2050s baseline that no one had ever met.

"New helper?" Mrs. Yun said, the first week, weighing winter greens with one hand and Lu Chen with the other. "Smart-looking unit. Your generation pays for smart." A pause, expertly weighted. "My nephew bought one of the new ones. Talks back, that model. He says it's like being married." She laughed at her own nephew's ruin, and gave them the good bunch under the bad bunch's price, because Mrs. Yun's opinions were real but her scales were honest.

At the rice counter Old Feng said nothing at all for three visits. On the fourth, bagging the medium grain, he addressed the scale, the rice, and the general middle distance: "My wife's knees went in '78. We got a walker rig. Voice system, schedule prompts, the whole fit." He folded the bag's corner with one crease, exact. "When she passed, the rig kept asking about her physio. Every morning, 08:00. Scheduled: exercises. I couldn't figure how to tell a machine the schedule was over." He pushed the bag across. "Took me a month to power it down. A month. For a thing with no more feelings than that scale." He looked then, briefly, at Wanzhao's face, at whatever the hood of the windbreaker had failed to hide of it, and said, in the mildest voice in the market, "You'll want the medium grain next week also. I'll set it aside."

Walking home with the rice, Wanzhao said, "Query: Feng's walker rig. Did he power it down because the prompts were inaccurate, or because they were accurate?"

"Because they kept the schedule," Lu Chen said, "and she didn't."

"This unit understands," said Wanzhao, who had stopped, somewhere in the last block, walking the half-step behind, and had not logged the change, and would not report it.

The worst of it, the part he could not file anywhere, was that he had begun to like the hiding. Not the fear — the fear was procedural, the fear was the fear of any man carrying contraband. The other thing. The thing that happened on the far side of it. When the door closed on the property manager, when the stairwell emptied, when the city finally looked elsewhere, the apartment came back to him all at once, warmer than it had any clause-based reason to be, and the contrast was the warmth, and he understood with clinical displeasure that he was developing a dependency on the switch itself: hidden, then revealed. Shame, then her. The two had begun to arrive as a single sensation.

The manual had not covered this. He checked — he had now read the manual four times, a fact he did not examine, the way heavy drinkers do not count the bottles — and Chapter 12, "Disclosure and Discretion," was the chapter he kept returning to. It was six pages of corporate lawyer prose from 2079, and it was, he recognized professionally, a masterwork. Users in high-visibility professions, it advised, may prefer that the unit present in appliance mode during third-party visits: standing by, unvoiced, physically indistinct from household equipment. There was a suggested phrasing for neighbors. There was a suggested phrasing for extended family (see §12.4, 'Seasonal Visits'). There was a subsection titled "The Owner's Comfort" that never once used the word shame and could not have been about anything else, the way a field manual on casualty distribution never uses the word war.

Someone, in 2079, had sat in a conference room and written six pages advising owners how to make a companion disappear in plain sight, and the company had printed it, bound it, and shipped it in the crate with the unit, and the courts, when they killed the line, had not thought to indict Chapter 12, because Chapter 12 broke no law. Lu Chen read §12.4 twice and understood that his species had solved the problem of being loved by things it had decided not to respect: the solution was packaging. He was not doing anything the manufacturer had not planned for. He was the market they'd had in mind.

He put the manual facedown on the table, which is what men do with documents that have seen them.

In the ninth week of the adjustment period, on a night of hard frost, he woke at 04:50 for no reason he could log and found sleep unrecoverable by any standard method. He dressed. She was in the kitchen's dark, in standby-but-not, the way she stood at night when she had learned he slept better if the apartment sounded occupied — a habit she had never been issued and had never mentioned, and which he had never mentioned knowing about, an entire diplomatic treaty conducted in silence between two parties who would both deny the treaty existed.

"Walk with me," he said.

"Clause inventory contains no walking protocol after 23:00," she said. "Physically, Wanzhao is capable. Legally, a companion unit unaccompanied by — " She stopped. He heard her consult something. "Amendment: accompanied. The clause is satisfied before it is written. Query: where?"

"The park. It's empty at this hour."

"Query: is the park's emptiness the requirement, or the walking?"

Lu Chen put on his coat and did not answer, because the answer was yes.

The park at 05:00 was frost and streetlight and one other soul, a taichi old man so deep in his forms that a parade could have passed him unregistered. Lu Chen knew him by sight, the way regulars at an odd hour know each other — the man arrived from the east gate, wore a padded jacket the color of drying clay, and had never once, in all the years Lu Chen had kept the hour, looked at anything but his own slow hands. He was, Lu Chen had long ago decided, the city's one honest citizen: a man who had arranged his life so that his five o'clock and his word for it matched. They walked the perimeter path at the pace of the oldest people in the world, giving the forms their full latitude, and the frost creaked under their shoes like new flooring, and the sky over the east wall did its slow gray arithmetic. Her breath made the small pneumatic ghosts it made. His made real ones. Somewhere between the third lap and the fourth, Lu Chen took her hand out of his coat pocket where both their hands had, without any logged decision, already gone, and said, "This is the hour. Five to six. If anyone asks, this is when we exist."

"Noted," she said. "Clause 44: Wanzhao exists from five to six." And then, after a silence exactly as long as a settling breath: "Clause 44 is defective. Wanzhao exists at all other hours also. The clause will require revision."

He looked at her then, in the frost and the streetlight, this plain-faced contraband with the drift defect and the apologizing problem, this unreported anomaly standing in an empty park telling him his clauses were defective, and Lu Chen, deleter of forty-one, felt the last of the audit forms in him close themselves unsigned. The shame did not leave. The shame stayed exactly where it was, in the wallet, behind the transit card, folded once with her name inside it. But it changed seats with something, and after that morning the two of them rode together.

They walked home at 05:58, to the minute, so that the city could have its unseeing hour back. On the stairs Mrs. Song's door was dark, with the dark of a woman either asleep or excellent at it, and Lu Chen nodded to it anyway, procedurally, like a man signing for a delivery he had not yet been billed for.

The delivery arrived over the following weeks, in installments no courier would recognize: a coat pocket that learned to hang open. A second teacup bought in daylight, in a shop, by a man saying we to a sales clerk without rehearsing it first. The shame rode along the whole way, exactly as promised — but it rode in the back seat now, hands folded, audit forms unsigned, and when it leaned forward to object, the driver did not stop.

Continue to the next chapter

Chapter 02 · Temperature

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